NOTE: This post is about my High School fleeting thoughts. The me right now is still at the moving on phase.
Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re a teenage guy, you’ve probably thought this at least once. For me, it wasn’t just a passing thought—it became an obsession. And it all started in my first year of high school.
But here’s the kicker: reality doesn’t care about your obsessions. It’s a cruel mistress, and she made sure I knew it. In almost every way, I was (and still am, let’s be honest) painfully average. My looks? Nothing to write home about. Athleticism? Let’s just say I wasn’t exactly the star of the soccer team. Skills? Remarkable? Ha. And while my grades were decent, that was only because I had plenty of time to study.
Now, as I stand on the edge of high school graduation, I’m faced with a terrifying truth: I might leave this place without ever having a girlfriend. Heck, I’ve barely interacted with girls outside of school-related stuff or passing on messages. Sure, I made a few female friends years ago, but that feels like a lifetime ago.
Where Did It All Go Wrong?
Puberty. That’s where it went wrong.
Suddenly, talking to girls became this weird, embarrassing thing. I started avoiding them, too shy to even say hello. And before I knew it, I was stuck in this sorry state of self-imposed isolation.
The truth is, I was scared—scared of rejection, scared of putting myself out there. You know how it goes. So here I am, on the brink of finishing high school, and I’ve never even held a girl’s hand. Looking back at these bleak, lonely years, I can’t help but panic. Is this it? Am I doomed to finish school—and maybe even life—alone? A bitter, loveless virgin? Please, Kamisama, anything but that! That’s a fate worse than death!
The Desperation
I WANT A GIRLFRIEND SO FRIGGIN’ BAD!
I don’t even have a “type” or a crush on anyone specific. I’m just desperate. Honestly, I’d probably fall head over heels for the first girl who confessed to me. I’d treasure her like nothing else—I’m sure of it. I just want to be loved! Doesn’t everyone feel that way at some point?
A New Semester, A New Me
This semester, I’ve decided to hype myself up. This is it. This is the time I’ll finally put myself out there. No more hiding, no more fear. I’m going to find my “Cinderella,” even if it kills me.
A Call to Action
So, here’s where I turn to you, dear reader. If you’ve ever felt this way—whether you’re in high school, college, or just navigating the messy world of relationships—let me know. How did you overcome your fears? Did you ever find your “Cinderella”? Or are you still searching, like me?
And if you’re in the same boat, let’s cheer each other on. Maybe we’ll both find what we’re looking for.
So, pray for me, will you?